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Writer's pictureJacqui Joy

Managing Unhealed Pain + Everyday Life

September is Suicide Prevention Month, a month to destigmatize, raise awareness, and promote conversations in regard to mental health. While nearly half of individuals who die by suicide have a diagnosed mental health condition, research shows that 90% of those who die by suicide have shown symptoms of a mental health condition.


Many factors play into one’s mental health and oftentimes unhealed pain may show up as symptoms we may not readily recognize. Recognizing the pain we carry and how they might manifest into our everyday lives can be the first step to seeking help and healing:


Unhealed pain may manifest as:

  • Lack of trust for others

  • Self-sabotage and pushing others away

  • Lack of healthy boundaries

  • Feelings of loneliness

  • Feeling numb, and/or disconnected from your emotions or physically body

  • Feelings of deep shame or self-blame

  • Low self-esteem or lack of confidence surrounding one’s choices

  • Being overly independent

  • Being overly dependent of others


When I was growing through a period of grief a few years back, I could personally speak to the experience of feeling disconnected from my emotions and physical body. For months I would wake up and go through the motions of what was expected of me that day, with no concrete recollection of what was happening. I knew my body was moving, but my emotions were numb and I did not feel present with myself. While I had people to speak to, I still felt lonely. I became overly independent before I burned-out and finally admitted to myself and others that I needed help. There were many moments of dark thoughts that I could not shake off, however with therapy and proper education of mental health, I was able to finally begin the healing process. While the journey is slow, non-linear, and continuous I found that the hardest part was the every-day; getting out of bed, taking care of my physical health, connecting with others, getting proper sleep etc,. While some days are great, other days it may seem like keeping up with your mental health is an insurmountable task. While it may not be easy, I deeply believe that everyone is born equipped with the capability to conquer the struggles that life throws at us and to create a beautiful life for ourselves. Every day is a new day to begin again.


“Getting a diagnosis is just the first step; knowing your own preferences and goals is also important. Treatments for mental illness vary by diagnosis and by person. There’s no “one size fits all” treatment. Treatment options can include medication, counseling (therapy), social support and education.” (nami.org).


Always with love,

Jacqui

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