It’s February and Valentine’s Day may be another aide-memoire of all the things that went wrong. If you’ve recently gone through or are going through a tough break up and/or find yourself hopelessly dreading February 14th here are some gentle reminders:
Moving on is not easy. You are going through a grieving process and grief is not linear.
Anger is a beautiful emotion. Anger is proof of our great human capacity to care. Learn how to transform your anger instead – “I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight… I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
The mood swings happen, and they’re just about normal as normal can get. You may find that sometimes you feel you have finally moved on but just as quickly feel the pain in your heart like a brand new wound. Even after all your try-hard attempts to forget – you might find that it's still difficult to stop missing what once was. Despite all this, you’re still making progress.
The only solution to healing is accepting the hard truths. You have outgrown this person, this situation. Plant yourself in new gardens, you will bloom when you’re ready.
Trust the process of healing. Don’t try to undo the past: you can’t unlove this person nor should you force yourself to, but it’s still time to stop watering dead plants. Get excited about your journey moving forward.
Allow your emotions to pass, even if they pass like a kidney stone.
Forgive yourself. Never allow yourself to feel ashamed to have loved with your whole heart.
Affirm:
“I was never ready for you to leave but after putting myself back together, rebuilding my self-esteem and accepting that life goes on without you, I realized it was the best gift you could’ve given me. I’m stronger than I was before”
-- M.Sosa
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