Unearthing emotional bypass has been a huge component of my healing journey. As a child I have always been the one to wear my emotions on my sleeve however, it wasn’t till recently that I found myself…lying? Lying to friends, family, coworkers, and strangers. If they asked me how I was doing, I didn’t just respond with “fine”, I pulled out all my teeth and led with a big smile and cheerful eyes and with all the energy left in my body –I made sure to look convincing. I think most of it was me trying to convince myself that I was okay in order to keep on surviving my day to day. I felt that I needed to do this because the pressure to be active, orderly, engaged and happy everyday is difficult and while most of us want to be honest with out emotions – we also now that not everyone wants to be reminded of how hard life can get. It wasn’t till I had an open conversation with a friend earlier this year that I learned that there was a term to what I was doing. It’s called emotional bypassing. So what are signs of emotional bypass?
Masking difficult emotions like anger or sadness with seemingly positive ones (i.e - a smile).
Diminishing the impact of a deeply painful experience (i.e dark humor, sarcasm).
Overextending 'socially acceptable' coping mechanisms: over-exercising, food restriction, perfectionism.
Intolerance for discomfort: always diverting to be happy or positive.
Shaming yourself for physical emotional release (i.e crying, yelling etc.)
Realizing the signs of emotional by-pass allows us to be conscious of our body’s need for emotional support and general help. If you find yourself masking your negative emotions with false positivity – it might be time to practice emotional release. Therapy is our top recommended mode of emotional release. Here are some reasons we recommend therapy:
1. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger about your problems than someone that you know.
Mental health professionals are trained to actively listen to what you are saying without judgment. You don’t need to worry about what they will think because it is a judgment-free environment. It is a safe space.
2. You will learn that you are not "crazy" or alone.
Talking to a professional will let you know that you are not alone in your battle. Millions of other people face similar problems each day and simply knowing that fact can help.
3. The effects of therapy are long-term.
The things that you learn in therapy are forever. Even if you are not actively seeing a therapist, the skills that you learn from therapy can be practiced and applied throughout your life.
fu
4. You will learn things about yourself and others.
Therapy will help you discover more about yourself, your behaviors, your thought patterns, and why you are who you are. It will also help you put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their perspective a little better.
5. Mental health professionals are educated, licensed, and trained to do this!
They know what to listen for. They can teach you proper coping mechanisms or introduce you to resources that can help.
Other modes of healthy emotional release
Crying
Journaling
Any form of Art (illustration, dance, music production etc.)
Joining a support group
Time to unearth emotional-bypass and give our feelings the attention and time they deserve. You got this!
Comments